Randomly Asked Questions

?-Does your chewing gum loose it's flavor on the bedpost over night?

A -It really depends on how long I chewed it, and how diluted the flavor has become with saliva before I placed it there. I find that sugarless Wrigley's Extra - is often still harboring flavor the next morning.

?-What would happen if you drowned in the fountain of youth?
A - I actually have two theories for this one. One is extremely optimisitc, the other is more to my style of thinking and is extremely pessimistic.

Theory #1 - I do not perceive the fountain of youth to be extremely deep... but then a person can drown in about two inches of water. BUT... If you fell in the fountain of youth and could not get out for some reason, you would regress in age (get younger and younger) and eventually turn into a sperm and an egg - one of which swims, the other which floats.

Theory #2 - You would die young.

?-Describe the longest walk you've ever taken in your life.
A - It all started in Greenbough, Alabama. That's in the County Greenbough. One day, I just felt like running.
oh okay. I'll be serious. The longest walk of my life? That's actually pretty tough to pinpoint. One walk that stands out took place one summer when I was twelve or thirteen years old. I was bored and decided to go on a journey. I set out around eleven o'clock in the morning and walked for three hours before I turned around to head home. On the way home I saw a small dark object headed right for me. As it got closer, I recognized it as a very large bee. I thought my best course of action when encountering a single bee would be to let it pass me and not pay too much attention to it. Boy was I wrong. The bee did not bother to go around me. Instead, it circled me once, then landed on my arm where it proceeded to sting me. I watched with fascination and horror as the stinger in its ass pumped its venom into my arm. I was afraid to swat it or try to knock it off of me, because I feared the risk of the stinger becoming stuck. The bee left, and I continued my walk home; the whole time I was thinking, "What if I have an allergic reaction and die on this dirt road?"

?-What was Captain Hook called before he lost his hand?
A - Well, since I have not watched the latest version of Peter Pan, I had to research this one. My favorite answer would come from BrainyEncyclopedia.com, but it doesn't give an actual answer to the question. I liked it though, and I think it may have come from the original story book. "(Lest anyone think Hook's name too convenient, Barrie notes that 'Hook was not his true name. To reveal who he really was would even at this date set the country in a blaze'.)"
IF I were to make a half-educated guess based on what I was able to find using google... I'd answer your question with this:He was always known as "Captian Garfio" (which is "Captain Hook" in Spanish).

? - If you were a genie and a person asked you this wish, "I wish you would not grant me this wish" what would you do?
A - Interesting trick question. By answering with that, he leaves me no choice but to take it upon myself to make a heavy object such as a piano appear from nowhere in the sky and fall on him. This is because by saying I wish that you would not grant me this wish, I cannot just stand there and do nothing, because then I am granting his wish of not granting the wish. Therefore, I must kill him.

? - If you own a piece of land and there is a volcano on it and it ruins a nearby town, do you have to pay for the property damage?
A - My theory on this one is NO. This is because the volcano eruption is considered an Act of Nature (or by some, an Act of God). Most insurance policies would probably agree with this, because they do not ever want to pay for Acts of Nature. But I would probably make an effort to help the victims, because I am not a complete meanie.

? - How much do you know about salt? Please list as many items as you can, without consulting any reference source other than your own brain.
A - This too lengthy to put here, so I posted it in the weblog.

?- Are you REALLY Batman?
A- Yes. I am really Batman.

?- Got a pic?
A- Of course I do. Do YOU have a pic?

?- If you could be any animal... what would you be?
A- An African Grey Parrot. They are smart birds, and they live to be around 70-75 years old. When kept as a pet (in a good home), these lucky animals eat fruit, nuts and generally have the job of entertaining the family. My first words would be... "How YOU doin?" I would make it my hobby to call the family dog or cat into the room, or mimic the sound of their food dish being filled.

?- What kind of toothpaste do you use?
A- Tom's of Maine Natural Whitening Gel (with cavity protection).

?- Boxers or briefs?
A- Boxers at night or when I'm at home and on weekends. When I'm at work or out in public boxer-briefs. They give me the support I need and they are more comfortable than whitey tighties.

?- On women.. do you like long hair or short?
A- Generally, I think most women look better with longer hair (meaning at least reaching her shoulders). Some women look great with short hair, so it depends on the individual. As long as it is clean and doesn't smell like a sewer rat's nest, I am pretty happy.

?- Which came first, the chicken or the egg?
A- The Chicken, Of Course! According to the Bible, book of Genesis, Chapter 1 - it reads: And God said, "Let the waters bring forth abundantly the moving creature that has life and fowl that may fly above the earth in the open firmament of heaven." And God created Great Whales and every living creature that moveth which the waters brought forth abundantly after their kind, and every winged fowl after his kind. And God saw that it was good. And God blessed them, saying, "Be fruitful and multiply, and fill the waters in the seas, and let fowl multiply in the earth." And the evening and the morning were the fifth day.

?- What do you like to do on a rainy day?
A- It rains every day (or almost every day) where I live, so I do alot of normal things in the rain. Before I ruined my knee, I loved to run in the rain (unless it was 20 degrees outside). When I'm not out in the rain I like to lay around and read, watch movies and sometimes sleep.

?- Have you ever been arrested/spent the night in jail?
A- Yes, I have been arrested, but I was later released. I was charged with Public Intoxication and Disorderly Conduct. If I haven't already written about it, I'll make plans to do so soon and link to the rant from here.

?- What is your favorite color?
A- Grey-Blue. Who would have guessed?

?- If you were alone on a deserted island, what three items would you like to have with you?
A- Does a harem count as 'one item'? I assume I could also say 'A boat,' but I don't think that is the answer you want. Hopefully this island has a healthy environment where I will be able to find food, so I will need a hunting knife, a big spool of twine and a large flint stone for starting fires. The stone would need to be large so that I can break it into two pieces and still technically have only three items.

?- Why do you think an Octopus has eight legs?... What does he do with them?
A- An octopus uses his tentacles to grab and hold his food. I assume that he must need all eight to do this, because if you cut one of them off - it regenerates.

?- You have the chance to go on a date with the girl of your dreams.... Her answer depends on how you answer this.... Use just three words to describe
yourself. (make it good.. .she's really HOT).
A- I am batman
(I had jokingly put "great in bed" some of you didn't like that answer? Send in your descriptions >•<)

?- French fries? or French toast?
A- On the contrary! Hashbrowns and Pancakes.

?- What is the most shameful line you ever used on a woman that worked?
A- I'd really like to kiss you, but I've been drinking, and you deserve so much better than that.

?- If a monkey and a dog 'hooked up', what would their offspring be called?
A- Dormeropelon.
(Monkey Dog in Spanish is "mono del perro". Scramble the letters and you get the name I gave it.)

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