-| My Best Friend is a Mooch |-
[but he mows my lawn for free]
Tim comes to my house to pillage all the time. I would not be surprised to come home to find my truck re-assembled in my livingroom.
I was laying on the couch, watching television with my kid this morning; and Tim lets himself in my house, walks through the living room crossing in front of the TV, through the kitchen and into the garage. Five minutes later, we hear him re-enter the kitchen, the refrigerator door opens and closes after a brief pause.
Then, we see Tim, crossing our path in front of the TV again. He has in his hands a 20 oz coke, an extension cord and the lid to my 30 gallon plastic trash can I keep in the garage. He walks out without speaking to anyone.
This only leaves me to wonder; WHAT in the hell he is trying to build, or accomplish, and will I ever see either the extension cord or trash can lid again? Chances are, these items will disappear from the face of the earth and end up wherever all the other miscellaneous items he has 'borrowed' ended up.
Is he building a space ship with some vast plan to escape earth and return to his home planet? Is he part of some government conspiracy to hide the truth about the eruption of Mt. St. Helens in 1980? Maybe it wasn't such an accident, but an experiment of some kind.
Over the past year alone the following items have slipped into the black hole of 'borrowed by Tim'; one pair of pruning sheers, a mountain bike wheel, 3 cans of WD-40, 2 hammers, 2 screwdrivers, the 7/8" socket to my set, a garden hose, and a stockpile of miscellaneous food items.
I would complain to him about it; however, he keeps my computer up to date at no cost to me, and mows my lawn in August. I don't know--I guess it balances out in the end. I do wonder though, where does this stuff go? What does he do with it? Maybe he trades it for magic beans.
He has never borrowed CDs or DVDs without returning them, he always returns these items in the same condition as they were in when he took temporary possession of them. Books, pens, pencils, you can count on him to return these every time. He never borrows money; he surely seems to always have cash in his pockets. (Must be nice, but he also lives minimally and always seems to find the best deals and lots of freebies.)
He seems to have extremely good luck that follows him most places he goes. Kind of makes you wonder about him, doesn't it?
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24 Feb 2002- perotheus.com
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