- -[ whether one should dry off before stepping out of the shower onto the bathmat or just step out onto the mat dripping wet; after all, what is it there for?
- -[ silverware placement in the dishwasher; handles up - handles down, segregated (forks with forks spoons with spoons etc.), or haphazardly dropped in the holder compartments?
- -[ the correct way to clean a window; in circular motions OR horizontal inside - vertical outside? Using paper towels or newspaper or a squeegee?
- -[ doing something about the CHECK ENGINE light being on in the car. It has meaning. Ignoring it doesn't make the issue go away.
Matchmaker, Matchmaker...
Why is it that people are always trying to play match-maker for their single friends?
This morning, in an on-line conversation, a friend and I were discussing cooking or grilling or something. Suddenly she says, "I know the perfect woman for you!" There it is. Hanging there like a dead minnow on a fish hook.
I take a deep breath, a sip of coffee (which is now only luke-warm) and reply, "I am already dating someone but thanks." My reply comes not out of guilt at the possibility that someone may be more compatible with me than the current girlfriend, but more out of exasperation, since everybody seems to think I need assistance to find someone. I know that they usually mean well, but I feel that the approach used is definitely in need of refinement on their part.
If I thought that somebody I knew would be a "perfect" partner for someone else I knew, I would probably bring the person up in conversation. Perhaps in an amusing story or relay something they said to the person I think they would get along with. Ok, so maybe that wouldn't work as I may hope, but it is definitely less invasive. People in relationships tend to look at those who are not in one with pity, when really they should consider some of the ways in which it should make them envious. Anybody who has had a relationship that tends to lean on the volatile side should recall disagreements over petty things such as:
I could go on forever about all of the different areas that are potentially debatable, but I assume you get the point, so I will stop now.
The thought has occurred to me that maybe it isn't me they take pity in, but the other person; The person who would be "perfect" for me. Maybe that is the person they are feeling so sorry for. Pardon my ignorance, but have you asked them how they feel about their current status? Revel in the fact that you have single friends. Consider the possibility that they just might be happy in their solitude. Unless they are giving you unmistakable indications that they are lonely and want help, stop trying to play matchmaker.
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18 May 2003 - perotheus.com
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