[just go to sleep already]
I say you need to sleep before you can dream, so i'm going back to bed.
I couldn't sleep at all last night! I am not sure why; I know that my mattress is top-of-the-line and as far as I know the room temperature was just in that range where it's not cold and not hot. The room is dark, quiet, and peaceful; however I apparently brought a day's worth of worry to bed with me.
Don't sit there thinking, "you aren't supposed to take it to bed with
you," because I know everyone does that from time to time. I get these
episodes (for lack of a better word) where I can't sleep for a few days; or
if I do get any sleep at all it's in fragments of one to two hours at a time.
This gets frustrating after only a few days.
What is there to do when you can't sleep but don't want to get up or turn on the light? It's too dark to see anything, so counting the texture clots in the ceiling plaster is out of the question.
That horrid night past me, I roll out of bed and face the day. I am sure I will need about a gallon of coffee to keep me going. I managed to fill the coffee maker with water and turn it on, neglecting to put coffee in the filter, so the end result was - hot water (oh boy).
Oh well I just turned it off and picked up a cup on the way into work. Go figure. The one day I have just enough time to make coffee - I forget to add the coffee.
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One week later: last night I found myself again overcome with negativity.
I was just talking to people on-line, and it hit me like a tornado hits a
hay field in Kansas. Very little warning; not much indication it was coming
just... BAM!
Most of the time, I just want to complain a little then it's out of my system and I go back to normal. Now and then it's more severe and I won't really go into detail (usually this is because it was probably work related and I feel you probably are better off without the details of what happened) <?> Who knows.
ANYWAY, my point in updating this was that last night; after a buddy stuck it out with me through the worst of my pity party, I released my prisoner (which was her) and let her go to bed. I went to bed as well and read for about half an hour, then turned out the lights and tried to go to sleep. I think after about an hour of laying in the dark I finally gave up and got out of bed. I got dressed and went into work and mostly just hung around and cleaned around the "living quarters" -- swept the floors, cleaned the oven in the kitchen stuff like that. After that, I sat around and watched television for a while (love that TV Land channel) and finally started relaxing.
I really do enjoy being able to talk to people on-line. I think it's in my nature to want to be helpful, and I believe that if people open up to talk to you about what is on their mind, it's generally OK to offer advice or they wouldn't normally bring it up. I may be mistaken on that but nobody has ever really been too upset with me for it. Well, yes they have. If what I say isn't what they wanted to hear. I have a bad habit (maybe it's a good one I don't know) of putting it to people straight. I'd like to think I'm not completely one sided when it comes to things; a lot of times I do see two sides to anargument.
Most of us know that when you are on-line since you don't have the luxury of reading body language it's very easy to take things people say the wrong way. It's hard to know when they are really --- REALLY hearing what you mean to say. Most people take it as they think it's meant and don't ask what is meant. (Granted, sometimes it's very clear what is meant but not always).
I think people should take the time to address the other person and say why they are upset. As I occasionally tell people: "If you don't yell at the dog for pissing on the carpet, he won't ever realize it's wrong to do so." People are the same way.
Another pitfall is when people don't have the one-on-one after the storm has passed and discuss why they got upset with each other. As long as this hangs over your heads, things won't seem to feel right when you are talking to the person. Most problems escalate to this level of anger when the people involved are having underlying issues before the conversation even takes place.
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17 Jan 2002- perotheus.com
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