who the - what the - HUH?

Slow News Week

2008-06-28T06:58:00.000-07:00

Well, it's my day off, which by chance landed on Saturday, and I still woke up at the pre-dawn hour of 5:00. I don't know why, because on the days I HAVE to get up... I am never ready to BE up that early. (When the clock radio alarm comes to life, I utter words worthy of an [R] rating and sometimes spout blasphemy. (I know. You are not the first person to tell me where I'll be headed one day).The strange dreams have ceased; or at least, I have no memory of them once it is time to wake up. Either way, it is just after seven and I have spent the last two hours trying to sleep. Forecast: Fatigue will set in around lunch time, followed by a nap this afternoon.

I have been (trying to) get back to the "processed flour and sugar is bad, mkay?" lifestyle. This is in no way saying "Carbs are Bad," as we need carbs in our diet. I have eaten a lot of fresh produce, so I am getting the right % of carbohydrates in my daily intake. One thing that I found interesting (but have not yet perfected) is a way to have (sort of) hashbrowns without having potatoes (which are neither good nor bad, but they are on the limited list). Instead of shredded potatoes, you use shredded zucchini. (Sorry, squash haters, you don't have to eat them). I found a few recipes, starting with one on MrBreakfast.com. The problem was that the egg (or egg whites) they instruct you to beat into the shreds - cooks faster than the zucchini shreds. I plan to fine tune this method and still have something similar to has browns with breakfast (on the days I have time to actually COOK breakfast). Forecast: Oatmeal this morning, with fresh berries and coffee. In the (murky) future, I will have a recipe to post for this healthier (for those who should watch out for starchy carbohydrates) recipe for the "hash~~browns~~ greens".

In all seriousness, if anyone has actually stayed to read this long, I have been sleeping for a change. Sleeping, by my own definition, involves more than 4 hours of sleep (waking once every hour). I have actually slept 6-8 hours for a few days in a row.

Brilliant Products, Installment #1

2008-06-23T20:07:00.000-07:00

Keeping it Cool While Saving Cash

I have been searching for a convenient and practical lunch containment system; one that is large enough to carry a lunch type meal as well as a few snacks to work each day. Like many people, I have been trying to do what I can to save money (and the environment too).

I finally found a unique idea that will benefit both. While it may seem a bit on the spendy side, I decided that buying zipper storage bags every few weeks was not practical. I mean, even the good ones fail and leak from time to time, and who wants to find their lunch smashed flat, especially when you've been waiting very patiently to actually be able to take the time to (finally) eat something? Visit the site, consider a purchase.

(I make nothing for my endorsement, I merely want to share these ideas with you.)

Please don't wake me.

2008-06-13T19:14:00.000-07:00

For the past few months, I have been following a typical (for me) sleep pattern: Lay down between 10:30 and 11:00 - fall asleep within ten minutes. Wake up an hour later (relieve the bladder, wash hands, brush teeth, drink water, go back to bed). Lay in the dark for twenty minutes or more, waiting for sleep.. Start thinking about all of the things that I need to do-- which prevents me from being able to fall asleep again. Roughly an hour later, fall asleep again... waking up a few times to repeat the same pattern, and having extremely weird dreams during the times I do actually manage to sleep. While I was not frightened (but entertained instead) by them, I was disappointed when the dream(s) ended before a solution to the problems were found.

In one of the more recent dreams, I was living in a town which was (?) occupied by a poltregiest --I guess that is what it was. I know that spirits are not likely to "haunt" an entire town, but I don't know what else to call whatever she was. When a person in the town wasted water, she would appear from the water and the person that wasted the water would die. (Combine the freaky girl in Ringu/The Ring and what Lady in the Water could have been as a movie... and you have the basic idea of the dream).

I was running around trying to talk sense into (be in control) of the idiot townspeople who would not listen to me. Eventually, four or five of us were hiding out in a house. Water was leaking out of various places (unknown sources from the ceiling, the kitchen faucets, and the fish tank).

Unfortunately, the alarm clock popped on and woke me up before I could finish the dream.

---

In another (pretty amusing) dream, a creature of some kind (Leviathan, The Thing... something large and unseen) was lurking around an old barn.

Whenever a person would eat a poor diet (high sugar/ starchy carb / high fat, high sodium foods) and not work out (be lazy) the creature thing would come out of the barn and hunt them down and kill them (rip them into many pieces). Minutes before the creature thing was "coming to get you", a soft tick-tick-tick could be heard. Eventually, people caught on, associating this sound with the creature thing. The people divided - those that appear healthy outwardly* in one group, and those that were above "ideal weight" in the other.

For whatever reason, people tend to follow the idiot mentality when they get into groups like this. One of the guys managed to get a group of people angry; they were convinced that the creature thing was coming because "THOSE PEOPLE" were "FAT" and that was why it was here. They seemed oblivious to the fact that some of the "healthy looking" individuals had also been killed by the creature. There was no evidence that anything about the person(s) selected being random.

While sitting in the non-group group (of course I would pick the neutral group of seemingly calmer people that appear to have their shit together), I started to analyze my diet and recent choices. I was thinking (in dream, still), that I haven't been working out lately at all. With all of the hours I have been working, paired with being so tired... I just haven't had... no. just haven't MADE the time to do anything once I get home from work. Tick-Tick-Tick. Tick-Tick-Tick. He's coming for you I told myself. Don't endanger the others. Go out to the barn and face the creature thing.

I walked towards the barn's large open doorway, which was very, very dark despite the full moon having provided great visibility everywhere else. I stood with my back to the door, facing the people I had left at the house.

Tick-Tick... My conscious brain then took over, telling my sub-conscious dreaming brain...

"You idiot, ticking noise is the fan. It is stuck again and cannot oscillate. Moron." I got up, fixed the fan, and went back to bed wishing I knew how that would have ended.

Old Stuff Remembered

2008-05-31T18:39:00.000-07:00

Recently, I was asked by an online friend if I remembered an old weblog she used to keep. While looking through every old url.blog.com name I could remember--a real workout for an old brain like mine-- I ran across this, posted by Tim, on one of her old "blogs". I had forgotten about it. I think it is pretty funny, so here it is...

Tuesday, June 22, 2004

i really have no reason to come here today and post something just so that all of you people who keep dropping in just to see if these damned rats are still here can finally breathe and say...

THANK YOU, MIGHTY WULPH, FOR PUTTING SOMETHING ELSE HERE!

yah, maybe that is a bit of a stretch with the self-assumed praise. gimme a break, the id and ego and alter ego all get carried away from time to time, and i cannot help it.

i recently feh-cked up and broke a very good friend's laptop. he had asked me to find a good deal on a replacement LCD display for the one that had a short. i found one for about 3 hundred bucks less than everyone else wanted for it and he bought it. when it came by 2 day delivery, he was happy -- but he had to go to work. i was at his house so i could watch the adult movies i had programmed his new tivo to record without his permission, but then he is used to me doing things like that without regard to his feelings -- i think.

so anyway the last thing he said to me as he stepped out his front door was ... "don't put that LCD on for me, i'd like to try to do it myself." well, before he had said that to me, i had already started mapping out in my head where the tools were and had selected the surface on which i would get to fix something electronic. i love working and taking things apart. its fun.

well i broke it. broke it fubar broke it. the thing is i didn't start working on it until the next day because i got involved in the previously mentioned recorded programming. so he comes home, and i have the thing in about fifty pieces. when i was attempting to push a molex cable (like the end with the plastic head on the end of the wires) through a hole that was seemingly smaller than the cable head itself, i broke a wire. it ripped out of the connector end of the cable. right after that he comes back in the door. so i try to boot the computer. [it chimes the way a mac does] ... dead black screen. mocking me. he sighed. he ran his fingers through the hair on top of his head. he said... well, that isn't good at all. and he left the room. i solder the wire back and this time when i boot the computer it chimes. the screen lights up. but no picture displays. so he calls it as a time of death thing. (DOE / dead on examination) and he says nothing more.

so ... this past weekend when we were out running around town, i paid for part of the new laptop he has. he seems happy. the amazing thing is ... he never once said anything about it being my fault.
posted by tim at 11:14 AM

Like any good sit-com, there is always more than one person's account of an event.

2008-05-21T14:28:00.000-07:00

I have very little "NEW" things to write about, but I seem to have a lot of things going on that I have written about in the past. For example, the headaches have returned; coming on suddenly and forcefully. While I am not getting them quite as often as I had been-- but I have had a few in the last months,a few of them were excruciating. I have medication for them, but I usually don't take it until the headache has progressed to the point that I am considering praying for a merciful death. It isn't that I want to suffer, but I have never been one to want to take a lot of medication. I carry a tablet or two with me in case I am stricken with the eye-stab, but that is only because once the headache arrives - I usually cannot see well enough to drive safely.

Today is one of my off-from-work days. I woke up at six. Which is actually "sleeping in"-- if you consider the fact that on a normal work day I am already THERE by six. The problem is... when I have the opportunity to sleep late... I wake up early; when I have to get up early... all I really want to do is remain asleep.

I don't have to work today, so why am I awake this early in the morning? Usually, I struggle to stay asleep throughout the night and then sleep. When it is time to get up, I rarely feel ready to do so.

Since my brain is often spinning with ideas and random thoughts (when it is idle and not occupied by a given task), I recently started storing my laptop under my bed for such an occasion. (I had previously tried keeping a note-pad and pencil on the night table, but the cat seems to think that any lightweight object that is on a low table is there for him to steal.) When I did use the note pad and pencil, I typically could not read the notes the following day, having written them in the dark while half asleep. I thought that if I was going to have to turn the light on, I may as well open the laptop and avoid taking the risk of the resulting bad penmanship while half-awake problem altogether. This solution does not come without its problems, but I seem to enjoy its convenience.

Don't be a Cheetah!

2008-05-19T09:42:00.001-07:00

#1 During a visit to a mental asylum, a visitor asked the Director what the criteria is that defines if a patient should be institutionalized.

"Well," said the Director, "we fill up a bathtub. Then we offer a teaspoon, a teacup, and a bucket to the patient and ask the patient to empty the bathtub."

What would a normal person do to empty the bathtub?

a) use the spoon?
b) use the teacup?
c) use the bucket?
d) other (____________________)

#2 Find the names of 5 planets hidden in the following sentences:

"What hurts?" asked the doctor. "It's my ear," the patient cried.
"Steven, use the screwdriver to build those shelves."
"Everyone takes a turn during Monopoly."
"Cassie, you ran us over with your bicycle!"
"Sam, arsenic is poisonous. I read the definition in the dictionary."

#3 The phrase "From the heart" has been known to bring thoughts of love and passion to many. However, if you rearrange the 12 letters, you can come up with two 6 letter words that are opposite of each other, hint ? these are words represent a man and a woman. What are those two words?

#4 Four men were in a boat on the lake. The boat turns over, and all four men sink to the bottom of the lake, yet not a single man got wet! Why?

The Results Are In...

2008-04-30T19:31:00.000-07:00

HDL=53 LDL=161, down 31 points from last year!

Oh, and my triglycerides were described by the Nurse Practitioner as "GREAT!"

Road Trip!

2008-04-10T14:48:00.000-07:00

Driving back from my vacation, Tim (who never misses a road trip and who once again managed to be granted ANOTHER vacation and invite himself) and I had mapped out our route allowing for time to stop in New Mexico, Arizona, and then Nevada before driving home.

A lot of the trip was (fairly) uneventful as far as the actual traveling was concerned. There are many border patrol check-points in and around New Mexico and Arizona. At one of them the officer asked Tim (who was driving), "Are you an American Citizen? To which Tim replied, "Si, senor!" The patrol officer did NOT find that funny, but he didn't subject us to further delay or any type of search. After a full day of driving we stopped somewhere in NM, since it was after midnight.

We were on the road again by about seven A.M., stopping at Whataburger for breakfast. I ordered breakfast burritos (each having 380 calories, 21 g fat - 7 of them saturated - 344 mg cholesterol) and coffee* (I will explain the relevance of all of this nutrition stuff in my next post); Tim ate two "breakfast on a bun" sandwiches (EACH having 570 calories with a bonus of 39 g of FAT-15 g saturated- and 1264 mg Sodium not to mention 247 mg of cholesterol), two orders of hash browns and I forget what else. The food was good. ("good" fast food is defined by me as being the proper temperature). I took my first sip of coffee. The coffee... tasted like soap. Or at least that was my first impression of it. I looked at the cup (as if it would be able to give some sort of clue) and tasted it again. Yup. Tasted like SOAP.

"Does your coffee taste like soap?" I asked Tim.

He tried his coffee and he said it did indeed taste like soap. So we stopped by a convenience store to purchase new coffee and discard of the soapy stuff. Not so bad for the first mishap on a many many hour road trip.

Our next stop was in Flagstaff, AZ. They had one room available. After checking into the hotel, we found a Safeway (grocery store) and purchased some backpacking friendly foods (granola bars, bottled water etc.), which took longer than it should have due to Tim trying to pick up random lady shoppers from the nearby University.

Once in the room, I fell asleep fairly quickly, despite the fact that Tim, the other occupant of the two-bed room, was trying to decide if he wanted to watch a pay-per-view movie, or "adult programming" while he inhaled an entire bag of Doritos.

By habit, I am (typically) a light sleeper. Sounds which are barely audible to many people will wake me in a fraction of a second. I am such a light sleeper that, the soft *pop* of electricity coming through the speaker of my alarm clock radio will snap me out of REM sleep. This is one of the many reasons I have difficulty sleeping.

I do not know how long I slept before I heard the sound of the lock click that can only be activated by -the faint but distinguishable sound of a key card activated door lock, issued by the office of said hotel. I was still half asleep, but remember wondering if maybe some (drunk) idiot simply had the wrong room. Seconds later, the lock unlatched and the door opened. I sat up and yelled "Hello?"

In my mind, I had already picked up the table lamp and was ready to fracture the skull of any unknown persons who dared to enter the room. The reason I did not already have the lamp in hand is -- because from a dead sleep in a dark room, I was unable to determine if it might be Tim, since it would not be out of character for him to check out the hot-tub occupants.

However, my startled "hello!?" woke him up and he yelled something along the lines of "WTF!?"

I could see the door from where I was, and the guy on the other side of the door - I kid you not - was Santa Claus. Portly. White hair, white mustache and long beard. Gold wire frame glasses. He immediately said, "Oh! Oh No! I am sorry. I'm sorry!" and he left.

I said, "Who was that? did you see who that was?"

"Dude, that was Santa Claus! Did you SEE him?" Tim replied.

I said, "Yah I did. I thought the same thing."

Nobody managed to remember to latch the inside door locks. Since there were two of us, this is only partly my fault. PARTLY. I really feel that the hotel should have a better system of knowing that if room 101 has a person in it, they shouldn't be sending another person to that same room. I locked the door, cussing myself for being an idiot. Minutes later, as I was just starting to fall asleep again when the phone rang. The person in the office wanted to say "SORRY" about sending Santa Claus to our room. The rest of the night was uneventful.

The next day we drove up from Flagstaff to the Grand Canyon and spent the day hiking. We stayed one more night in Flagstaff, then continued our trip the following morning. We stopped at the Hoover Dam, took the tour, and then headed to Las Vegas.

ON THE RECORD: What happens in Vegas stays in Vegas.

OFF THE RECORD: We hit a number of casinos, New York New York, The Bellagio, The Venetian, Caesar's Palace, The Luxor, MGM, Excalibur, Mandalay Bay, Treasure Island, Mirage, Circus Circus and of course, Hooters.

When we were walking the Strip, we passed a Street Evangelist (for lack of a better term). The guy was yelling out to passers by that they need not be tempted by the LUST and GREED among us. He elaborated in detail about Fornication, and sin. Tim stopped and feigned interest for a while, nodding at each sin the guy listed and saying "yep. I've done that. yup. done that too..." which only encouraged the guy to yell louder. After a while, we grew bored of the guy, so we left.

We caught the free show (The Sirens of TI") outside of Treasure Island. While we did not have the best view, we could see most of it. (There were 1-2 groups of people in front of us.) A few minutes into the show, a woman in front of me turns to the guy she was with (I assume it was her husband) and she says, "Well, I didn't know it was going to all about SEX! We need to go." and she literally dragged him away from the show. When Tim asked me what that was about, I told him what I had heard, and he said, "Does she know where she IS? This is VEGAS!"

I replied, "Maybe debauchery wasn't mentioned in the vacation brochure."

We caught the water show outside the Bellagio twice, and ate a fair amount of food. The casinos were not as generous with the "free drinks to gamblers" as they have been in the past, so we were basically forced to actually purchase beer (for six dollars a bottle). -- Needless to say, we did not get drunk on this trip.

After two (extremely sober) days in Vegas, still having money in our pockets, we decided to head home, a sixteen hour drive; which wasn't so bad in two shifts.

real quick...

2008-04-09T15:53:00.000-07:00

Batman is indeed superior! (Why Superman will Always Suck)

- - -

In the event that this link should be moved, deleted, or otherwise break, I have this saved as a pdf file. If you find the link is broken, please email me and let me know.

First Things First...

2008-04-08T20:04:00.001-07:00

Before sharing the details of my vacation, I have this strong need to rant a bit... (I will try to make it quick.)
I have heard people claim that they need a vacation from their vacation, but up until now I have never actually had that feeling. Don't get me wrong, the vacation itself was GREAT... but trying to get back into routine now that I am home has really worn me down. There were many things waiting for me Monday morning; papers piled on my desk, equipment needing to be called or sent in for service, inventory to be counted and ordered. They didn't take care of anything--instead, they just let it all sit around waiting for me to return. When I voiced my opinion(s) about them and their lack of effort, they claimed that (a) "You are particular, so we didn't want to do it wrong." and (b) "Well, nobody knew how to do that, so we just left it for you."

My thoughts on this -- "For TWO WEEKS?"

I mean, MOST people, or at least those I actually respect, would have at least TRIED to figure it out.

Today, I managed to properly file a ton of reports, complete inventory and order supplies, and clean the area around my desk (which at the time I left for vacation was immaculate, but over the two weeks I was away, had become a catch-all storage area for whatever crap they didn't want to find a proper place for.) This includes food wrappers and a few near-empty mocha-frappa-latte cups from S-bucks. (I hate it when people don't bother to empty the contents of their beverage cups prior to placing the cup in the trash.)

Thanks... I feel a little better now. I'll come back during the week to give you those details I promised.

Vacation Update ... and a Little Rant (for good measure)

2008-03-25T05:41:00.000-07:00

Happy Tuesday. Vacation is going well; I feel rested, to say the least, although I did wake up much earlier than I had planned this morning.

I am staying with friends, a family of my friend, his wife, and their four year old. They are all continuing to go to work and school for the first part of the week, and later in the week they will take a few days off. This morning, I awoke to the little girl yelling, "Daaaaaaadyyyyy!" (after a few times, I got up and followed the voice to the living room.

She looked at me and said, "I want my daddy. I'm cold." I asked her where her daddy was, and she told me he was in the shower.

"He cannot hear you if he is in the shower, but there is a blanket behind you on the couch."

Now I am drinking coffee, and watching the TODAY show, where they are finally-FINALLY admitting that all of the disinfecting and antibacterial/antimicrobial products are affecting our immune systems. I've been saying this for years. I've been telling people -- or at least trying to tell them that some germ exposure is GOOD, and taking antibiotics for everything (or simply too often) is not good.

They have also pointed out that doctors are now exposing children to very small amounts of foods to which they have allergies. (DO NOT JUST RUN OUT AND TRY THIS YOURSELF... CONSULT YOUR DOCTOR.) For example, children with peanut allergies are being given small amounts of peanut dust/powder in other foods in order to expose them to peanuts and allow their bodies to (SLOWLY) develop a resistance to it. This is also something I have been (preaching) talking about for years.

My (ex)wife's sister has a daughter with an allergy to milk. Well, at least, the child had a problem with it as an INFANT. Now, the girl is eleven, and if you simply (lie to her and) tell her that what she just ate had milk in it, she "feels sick" about an hour later. Years ago (when the kid was around four years old), I attempted to make the suggestion to (that entire family) that it might be a good idea to expose her to small amounts of milk, since her body reacted fairly mildly and simply made her have excess mucus and congestion, and suggested that they might want to consult her pediatrician about it to see if s/he agreed with the theory.

My (ex)wife and (ex)sister-in-law, both being LPNs, argued with my theory, and stated that I was crazy. It would never work. She could DIE. Yet, they allow her to have small amounts of milk product (such as whipped cream on her strawberries or ice cream,) but to let her start drinking real milk instead of soy? "CRAZY." "STUPID.", "RISKY."

As it turns out -- I may be right. (I may be crazy).

Wouldn't You Know It?

2008-03-18T23:54:00.000-07:00

I closed my book, placed it on the bedside table, and turned the light off. I closed my eyes and got comfortable. Not more than 30 seconds later, the room flooded with light, and the previously quiet room was filled with the sounds of the alarm clock radio, a fan and the cordless phones emitting their loud BEEPS, alerting me to the fact that they now had power. I had been lying in bed, reading a book about the walking dead with a flashlight, when I decided I was finally tired enough to (try to) go to sleep. There was, afterall nothing better to do.

Tonight, after working a double shift, I came home to find that my entire street was in total darkness. No street lights, no lights in any of the homes; only the flicker associated with candlelight in the windows of the neighbors' home. I unlocked my door and walked (cautiously) through the darkness of the living room. "Always be prepared," my subconscious whispered. Yah, whatever.

I made my way to the kitchen and grabbed the flashlight. I was glad to find it where it belongs and that it had not disappeared along with many of my other possessions, that have vanished over the last few years; an extension cord, a Rubbermaid trash can lid, two garden hoses, a lawn sprinkler and my ironing board (which has since been replaced). Flashlight in hand, I was able to (easily) find the many, many candles I keep for just such an occasion.

I am sitting in my living room, surrounded by eight candles between the living and dining rooms, and three in the kitchen. The rest of the house remains dark. I am eternally grateful to have a laptop with a pretty good battery life (around 3 hours), and a mobile phone, since my (non-cordless) phone has not been seen in the last five or six years. I used to keep one for events such as this... I do not know what happened to it.

The dog and cat are excited to see the house in a new light (pun intended). I am concerned about and closely watching the cat to make sure that he does not knock over a candle or set himself on fire. My daughter says it is "like we camping or in the olden days like on 'Little House on the Prairie'". This is the quietest my life has been in months. The only sounds are a distant train, the wooden wind chimes belonging to , and an occasional car making its way down our dark street.

I have no idea how long the power has been out, or what caused the problem. I do not know if the food in the refrigerator and freezer has had time to become potentially fatal. I am hungry. Extremely hungry. I may go check to see if the food in the refrigerator is still reasonably cold, and take a chance on a piece of leftover fried chicken.

I do know that there is no power on my street (and probably a few others). I cannot publish it until the power is restored, and there is really no place I am willing to go at ten at night to PLUG IN and get on the internet (free of charge). If I was not so tired, I could use my power adapter which works in the car to power my laptop and drive to a house with an unprotected wireless network and park there until everything returns to normal, but that would be unethical.

Things I Just Gotta Get Done Before Vacation...

2008-03-15T22:24:00.000-07:00

-~~Dust the house~~ 17 March

-~~Get all of the laundry done and put away~~ 19 March

-~~Get a key made for the housesitter~~ 17 March

-~~Check refrigerator for any food that will be past its prime before I get home~~ 19 March

-~~Discard any such food~~ 19 March

-~~Update my iPod~~19 March

-~~Update my collection of Movies/TV shows to watch if I decide to do so~~ 17 March

-~~Pack my stuff~~ 19 March

-Pack the dog's stuff (he is going to stay with my mom)

-Print boarding pass

-Remember to check the gas in the Range Rover so that when I return home very late at night, I will have plenty of gas in order to get back to my house.

I am sure I will need to add a few things during the week before I leave (Friday, very very early morning). I will try to come back and ~~strike~~ the items I have completed.

The kid will be on spring break, and will be going somewhere tropical with her mother and stepdad.

If Only it Were This Easy...

2008-03-14T21:42:00.000-07:00

At night, when I am lying in bed, unable to sleep, ideas come to me. I am always thinking to myself... "get up and write it down before you forget."

I never actually get up and write it down, and I always forget. I know, I should keep a notepad and pencil by the bed. I just fail to actually follow through with that theory.

In the past, when I did have the notepad by the bed, I would jot down notes, only to be unable to figure out how the pieces fit together. A few times I would take the laptop and stow it under my bed, enabling me to type the thoughts rather than write them. This was in no way beneficial to my falling back asleep, so I have had to abandon that idea if I am scheduled to work the next day.

When I was working nights, I had much better luck with writing and feeling energetic and alert. Every morning, upon my alarm clock popping to life, I utter a few choice expletives as I throw the covers aside and force myself to get up. I let the dog out, start the coffee maker, and shave, shower (etc.). I walk around feeling tired and (I am told Dark and MOODY) for most of the morning. If I had my way, I wouldn't have to speak to anybody until at least nine (a little over three hours into the work day). I don't start feeling really good until around 1:30 pm. I am proud of the fact that I am down to 22 oz. or less of coffee a day, the last cup is never consumed after 2:00 pm. (this is an accomplishment for me; I used to drink about a pot of coffee a day--sometimes more).

status?

2008-02-26T22:59:00.000-08:00

Tired doesn't begin to describe how I feel. I actually fell asleep (although not for very long) during my lunch today-- and not long after joking with someone who proposed this sleeping schedule:"for several short naps during the day and then like a 2 hour nap in the afternoon followed by several other short naps during the night." I thought about it, and I realized that would actually work great... if I worked in an office every day and could customize the desk like George Costanza.

Is it amusing or even disturbing to anyone else that the graphic I found for this post shows the clock at 3:14?

Just Sleepless

2008-02-20T22:45:00.000-08:00

Saturday night I slept "okay".
I didn't work Sunday, so I had the entire day to catch up on house work and be lazy the rest of the time.

Sunday night I had a bit of trouble staying asleep.
I woke up about every two hours. If you estimate on the extremely generous side, I got about 3 hours of sleep in total.

Monday night was extremely long. Somewhere around two in the morning I found myself wishing that stupid green lunamoth from television would find its way into my house.

Tuesday night was a repeat of the days before it.
(Tuesday I worked a double...) When I finally got home, it took me four or more hours to unwind. The sleep I did get was interrupted and fitful. My dreams were fragmented and without logic. I woke up too many times to count. My struggle continued, despite my attempt at eating a dinner that was easily digested and avoiding caffeine. The night yielded several hours of lying in the dark, followed by a stretch of solid sleep during the last two hours. The alarm stated that it was time to get up. By opposition, I re-set the alarm to "wake me up in about thirty minutes."

When it sounded, it seemed impossible that half an hour had passed. I forced myself to get up, showered, shaved, let the dog out, and turned on the coffee pot.

Then I called work to tell them that it was possible that I would be a little late... perhaps twenty minutes late. Oddly enough, I still managed to make it to work on time. (Don't ask me how, because usually, I get up an hour before I have to leave the house, and leave for work in time to have twenty minutes to get there.) I had to fight with the urge to put my head on the desk and sleep while I was checking the MSDS Binder and verifying that all was up-to-date. I finally started to feel alive sometime around 1500 (3 pm).

Wednesday night...
Wednesday night is the present. It is after eleven and I am not really feeling sleepy. This is the type of insomnia that has plagued me since childhood. For most of the day, I am exhausted and feel like crap. During the late afternoon I finally feel like I am among the living, and I pick up momentum until about eight p.m. when I start to slowly make my way back down to being tired. The problem is... this process takes more time than I have available. I have to be at work in about six hours, and I haven't slept yet.

You'll Call Me Crazy, but...

2008-02-19T22:05:00.000-08:00

I came home extremely hungry after working a double-shift. Since I had been dealing with colder temperatures and rain for many hours, I wanted something to eat that would defeat the chill and fill me up, but not be so heavy that I would be unable to sleep when I finally get around to attempting to do so.

I opened the pantry with a bowl of oatmeal in mind. The oatmeal had been (mysteriously) removed from the pantry. The entire "box". (think. think.) I did, however, have the following (typically served cold) cereals; Nature's Path Granola (with pumpkin seeds and flax), and Kellogg's Raisin Bran Crunch.

I poured 1/3 cup of granola-cereal and 1/2 cup of Raisin Bran Crunch into a bowl, and poured in some milk. (slightly more than you would use for a bowl of cold cereal, but not completely covering it). Then I microwaved it for two minutes, stirred the contents, and let it stand (or sit if you prefer) for 1-2 minutes. Talk about good! I was surprised... and I will definitely have to buy more of the granola cereal (because now I am out of that as well.)

It Arrived by Mail.

2008-02-14T17:37:00.000-08:00

Why don't they have "parental controls" for standard land-line telephones? My good friend, Tim, has once again volunteered me for something which I would normally avoid. At some point last week, he answered my phone, and on my behalf, agreed to be a participant in the Nielsen TV Ratings. When it arrived, he opened the envelope, took the five dollars that they pay you to fill out the diaries, and absconded with the money.

Problem - Tim volunteered for this. It is bad enough that he does NOT LIVE HERE. Not only does he volunteer (me) for this... but he also LEAVES TOWN this Saturday. So, he gives these diaries to me and says "here. you have to fill these out and send them in by ---."

Protest? Yes. Yes I did protest. I'll fill it out, because from what I know, he probably did not identify himself as himself, but rather gave the impression that he was indeed a resident of the home above the age 16. Now, they are here, America is counting on me (against my will or otherwise) to fill these things out. I am sure that the Nielsen people anticipate a percentage of the surveys not returning, but I feel obligated to complete the tedious thing and turn it in on time.

I took part in the Nielsen ratings in 1987. While I recognize the significance of the survey, it was a pain in the ass to fill in the information.

It's Almost that Time of Year...

2008-02-13T11:38:00.001-08:00

Time for planning a vacation. Time to get away from my job and the people that it includes. I have requested ten (10) days... let's see what kind of trouble I can find in a week and a half.

I have just begun the planning process, so at this time I do not know what I am going to do, or where I am going to go. I have contacted a few friends to see if they are up for a camping trip.

Backpacking is a possibility. If that cannot be arranged (being that it is kind of short notice), then I am up for just visiting a few people and traveling, eating and drinking some beer.

Mother, May I?

2008-01-28T22:30:00.000-08:00

These small, seemingly harmless candies were mentioned in a post on royally speaking. It reminded me of something from my childhood. (I had to guess, I would guess that I was four.)

I had accompanied my mother on a trip to the grocery store, which was walking distance and located around the corner from our home. She purchased a few items (most likely milk and other items that people tend to run out of between big shopping trips.)

While my mother was placing the items on the counter in order for the grocer to enter them into the cash register, the man behind the counter (I guess he was the owner) handed me an individually-wrapped orange slice candy. I smiled at him, but said nothing. I looked at my mom, who was busy sorting her grocery items and tried, without success, to show her the candy.

After my mom paid for the groceries, we headed home.

She had the bag of groceries in one arm, and held my hand with the other. My other hand held the orange slice, which remained unopened. We approached our house, walked under the carport to the side-entrance. As she was unlocking the door, she noticed the candy in my hand.

Addressing me by my full-name --that always means trouble as most of you know-- she said, "What is that you are holding?"

I looked at her and replied, "A candy."

"Well, where did you get it?" she asked. Her voice had taken on an edgy tone, which I associated with getting into a LOT of trouble.

"From the ", I answered, quietly. (Well it was the truth, after all.) I was afraid to tell her about the store owner handing it to me, because to me, he was a stranger, and I knew better than to take candy from a stranger.

She opened the door, and put the milk (and whatever else she had purchased) away. She then took me by the hand and marched me (and the candy) back to the small grocery store, scolding me as we walked (very quickly) the entire two blocks. Along the way, she informed me that I was "VERY BAD." She accused me of being a thief, explaining in detail how God and Mary, and Jesus were all very disappointed in my actions. She talked about sin and hell. She told me what I was going to say to the owner once we got back to the store.

As we walked in, my eyes began to spill over with tears. The man approached us and my mother, gently pushing me towards the man, said, "Well? What do you say?"

I held the candy out to the man and said, "I took this, and I am sowwy."

I don't remember if he ever explained to my mother that he had given me the candy and it was not stolen, and I do not remember my mother apologizing to me if he had mentioned that it was a gift.

2008-01-25T22:44:00.000-08:00

I finally had something worth sharing here, and finally found the time to sit down and key it in. I was lying in bed with my head propped up by pillows and my laptop in place, ready to write something profound. The instant I hit the < enter > key after typing in my user name and password, something happened. It was just like being in the middle of a spoken sentence, and forgetting what you were about to say. The blinking cursor mocked me. The too-bright LCD induced squinting, which in turn brought on a feeling of a need for sleep. I spent a few minutes, trying to grasp the kite-tail of the idea- that had not come easily in the first place- before it disappeared altogether, but I failed to do so.

The idea had come to me this morning while I was in the shower. It was similar to the scene in Stranger than Fiction where Will Farrell's character is a character in a novel a woman is writing, and he can hear her narration as she writes her book. A perfectly formed idea in the form of a thesis statement or other statement of purpose. Since I do not have pen and paper near the shower (and because it would probably not prove an easy task to use either while standing under running water), I actually spoke in whispered tones, to myself what I had planned to do with the idea. I sometimes do that, talking to myself, in an effort to help me remember things. "A loaf of bread, a container of milk, and a stick of butter"...

Several times throught the day, the idea expanded and developed. I was able to remain focused on my job but in between tasks I let the idea occupy my thoughts. I had a plan to write something profound (at least I think it would have been so,) but The very moment I clicked that SIGN IN button and the browser loaded... the concept vanished almost entirely. I only remember that it was based on a childhood memory. I hope that once I give in and allow myself to fall asleep, that the idea comes back to me.

It's a New Year, Allright.

2008-01-08T17:47:00.000-08:00

I suppose I should get around to actually fulfilling some of the promises I made to myself on 1 January (in my previous post). I should probably consider taking the "Happy New Year" banner down and putting my usual masthead back in place--but I like it, so it will stay a bit longer.

So, here is my very boring--but I am trying to get back in the habit of writing every day post:

Work is...

work is work.

About two months ago, the biggest :x kissass at work was promoted. Monday, he announced that he was leaving to pursue other avenues of his life (i.e., become intensely involved in the church he attends). He is an adult, but he still lives in his parents house--so it's

I have not been dating (other than the movie in December). I get up every morning (very, very early), drag my complaining ass through the necessary events (S-S & S). I get the kid up... Thankfully, she is a motivated kid. She goes to a neighbor's house until it is time for school, then returns there in the afternoon until I get home. and then I fill my travel mug with strong coffee, and I'm on my way. I work my shift, and go home to cook dinner. I eat, get lazy and stare at the TV for a while. (Last night I actually read a bit), and then I finally go to bed around . (Then--I do it all over again). Overall, I feel happy with this schedule.

When I am able to do so, I listen to Adam Carolla's show while I am driving. He has a segment called "What Can't Adam Complain About?", where listeners phone in to challenge Adam with (things that typically have no complaints). Many of you (probably) know that I can complain about anything... I was thinking (provided anybody still shows up to read) that it might be interesting if someone might just be able to suggest a topic that I have absolutely no complaint about.

Why New Year's Resolutions (almost) Always Get Broken

2007-12-31T22:55:00.000-08:00

Every year, people frenziedly make a list of promises to themselves. Every year, I attempt to make a list of these promises for myself. Things I know I should have been doing, goals I want to accomplish, or other promises that vary with whatever is going on in my life at the time. In most cases, I fail to keep these promises. I am sure that I am not alone in this--many people do not keep the resolutions they make at the beginning of each year. Some people make the resolutions, maintain them for three or four months, then forget about them as if they were a container of leftovers in the bottom of the freezer.

While I would like to keep these resolutions, it is not likely that I will do so 100% for the entire 366 day year (yep. it's a leap year, so that makes it one day harder to keep said resolution/s). Either way, here they are:

:. 1 Start working out again, more often than once every 10 or 14 days.

I hate to admit that I have made a LOT of excuses when it comes to doing anything lately. I feel worse than I look (which is the only thing motivating me to do anything about it.)

.: 2 Read more often.

I watch too much TV. I have not been reading very much the past year. This is probably why I have not written anything worth reading in over a year.)

:. 3 Gain better control over my temper.

I get annoyed way too easily lately. This is most likely related to #1 and possibly #2 as well.)

Have a safe and Happy New Year - Celebrate safely!

Happy Ho-Ho-Ho-lidays

2007-12-22T01:30:00.000-08:00

I got an early present from a friend -see what it is-

I finally braved the retail world and have completed 85% of my shopping! Tomorrow, I need to hit Barnes & Noble, Starbucks, and ... (I have to check my lists to see if there are any other places). There are two gifts for post-holiday gift exchanges that still need to be purchased (on-line). After that, I will be DONE with all of the shopping scene.

I hope everyone has a very happy -and safe- holiday weekend.

2007-12-14T07:50:00.000-08:00

I have the day off, and I really need to get the gift buying done. (That's right, I haven't even really started.) Well, actually, I have purchased for one person. The truth of the matter is--I would love to skip the present exchanging altogether. It isn't the idea of Christmas that I have grown to resent; it is what society has done to it.

I don't like being asked what I want for Christmas. I don't feel comfortable asking for things like that. While they are welcome, gifts are not necessary in order for me to be happy.

Things I like about the season:
- Winter weather - I like cold temperatures.

- Origin - I was raised with a strong sense of why there is even a Christmas. Unfortunately, the things my parents deemed "the important and meaningful stuff" has fallen to the background. These days, Christmas is about money, material objects and great sale prices.

- ... - I will have to add more later, because I really can't think of anything else right now.

Things I would like to see change:
- Acts of kindness - Why is it that (some) people use the holidays as a "reason to be kind to others", rather than being willing to help mankind all through the year? Do they really think that they can ignore (say, for example the homeless) all year, and then give a guy a dollar-simply because it is December?
- Goes hand in hand with - Family - who can't seem to get along for one to two days while company is present. If you really can't put off the argument or disagreement until you don't have a house full of people, maybe you should both stay home.

images borrowed from grudgematch.com