Actually, what that is meant to say is: “Life is a Pile of Shit.”

It has been a while since I felt THIS negative, and may say a lot to those of you that know me and my innate sense of pessimism.

My first beef / bitchy rant has to do with my blutooth keyboard and someone nearby having some bluetooth device that is causing my external Zagg Pro keyboard NOT to work at ALL. Which means my hands are struggling to type using the touch screen keyboard.

Secondly, school is about the same, (see post below) and I have yet to come to a decision regarding wtf I am going to do.

Do me a favor… If you have a time machine, go back 2 years to roughly 1240 p.m., and find me at evil Starbucks in the Alphabet district. It is on NW 23rd Ave. You will find me with a newspaper and a silver Apple G4 Powerbook laptop, most likely sitting in the far corner (if memory serves). I cannot remember exactly, but I will very likely be wearing a dark blue sweatshirt, jeans, and dark blue tennis shoes.

My Starbucks cup will be a Venti, and much to my dismay, have my name scrawled upon it with a Sharpie Marker.

I will be accompanied by an attractive, fit blonde woman in a white lab coat (doctor’s jacket type). She will be talking to me about returning to school, and telling me that I am a strong and intelligent person who can handle working full-time in Emergency services, and still attend school full time in order to pursue the eventual goal of a nurse practitioner.

At the time, I was completely enraptured by this woman, and if she had told me that I could turn dog feces into gold with a wave of my hand and a well-timed fart, I would have believed every spoken word. It was after that day that I enrolled myself in classes, delusional; believing that this goal could be easily achieved.

Believeth in me, so I might believeth in myself.

So, anyway, like I was saying… if you have a time machine, come out here and find us. Pull me aside and tell me that at this point, this will be too much for me to take on; trying to work full time with the demands my job entails (that is to say — both physical demands and time constraints).

Please tell me that the woman with me — who just might in fact be satan-spawn-in-the-flesh, has come to our earth at this time in my life because she knows I am at a weak point within it. Her plan is to destroy my self worth, pull me away from the church I have attended since I was very young, and seduce me (the part which was not all that HORRIBLE); then throw me to the wolves within four months.

Be prepared for me to protest, and declare my budding-love for this beautiful and very intellilgent woman.

I might add that it would be wise to tell me who you are, and this is when you should explain that you came from the future, and that you came to me via time travel, at my request.

The “secret word” is “carbunckle-351.”
That way, I know that you really did come because of my request

Thank you in advance for caring enough to help.

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