The Results are In…

Of all the things to be above average in– I pick cholesterol.
Total Cholesterol: 261 Yep. That is high.

I had returned their calls from Friday, leaving messages with their answering service, giving them my alternate contact numbers for daytime. I specifically stated that they would not be able to reach me at home this week — and gave them both my cell number and my work number. They called my home on Monday and left not one, but three messages.

Of course, instead of simply stating that he wanted to discuss the results and asking me if would I please call him, the doctor left a message in which he screamed at my phone that “it (my cholesterol) was WAY TOO HIGH and I needed to be on medication RIGHT AWAY!” He said all of this with the same intensity that one might say, “Oh my gosh! you have a butcher knife in your head!” He did not leave any further information (since they cannot give out details).

I spent the next 24 hours mentally punishing myself out over the “bound to be astronomical numbers”. With that type of reaction from the doctor, the number in my head was 380 or higher. It was really freaking me out.

I called his office and questioned his nurse / physician’s assistant and she gave me the results (LDL/HDL numbers) and stated that the doctor had put in a prescription for 40 mg Zocor (this is the highest dose this drug has… the lowest is 5 mg). I told her that I really felt that my cholesterol would come down with simple diet and exercise, stating that I was not one to take a pill for something when I had not really been living the best practice lifestyle lately. I continued with, “The bottom line is – I am not going to take this drug until I try that first.”

I also got a second opinion, and the second doctor agrees with me. I am going to watch what I eat and be more active; and in three months I get a re-do on my test.

Spam Solution… (a long term plan)

Yah, I am beginning to fight back. I have implemented a few new tricks to help thwart the onslaught of mail form and comment spam that plagues my online life.

The amount of spam we get is INSANE.

The contact email form is once again functional, although it involves a few steps that were not previously in place. You may test it if you would like to partipate. I am currently working on adding a similar security feature to both the comment script and the guestbook script.

I realize that the spammers realize that one out of a few thousand people will actually read their email and think, “Hey! gaining eight inches… yah that would be sweet!”, click the link and buy whatever placebo (perhaps even rat poison-laden) product the spammers are selling. I also realize that the spammers are happy to have reeled in that one sucker out of a few thousand seemingly intelligent people.

What I don’t get is – why can’t more be done to stop it?

It is painfully obvious that targeting the folks creating the bots, spiders and crawlers that target us is not working. It is also obvious that the bots, spiders and crawlers themselves are difficult to impede. With this in mind…

I have devised a PLAN.

disclaimer

Sadly, I know from past experiences that there are people out there that will read what I have written, take it WAY too seriously, and do one of two things:
1) get offended and pissy. or (and I am really hoping that there isn’t anybody that would actually take this seriously; -NOR will I accept any responsibility if anybody SHOULD)
2) DO IT.

Now that the disclaimer is in place, the plan would involve
finding those one out of every few thousand suckers and shooting each of them in the head. Eventually, there would no longer be one out of every few thousand morons for spammers to target and they will move on to other things.

Please Pass the Oat Bran…

And the Omega(s) 3,6 & 9; and hide the cheese…

I spent the majority of my day torturing myself over food choices. I spent a couple of hours pondering what I should consume for my next meal. I would finally eat something, just to feel like I was starving again half an hour later.

Then I’d have to start planning again so I wouldn’t starve to death before I figured out what to eat. I know which foods I should avoid.

I have a feeling that 70% of my food intake is going to be of the plant variety. Don’t get me wrong, I love fruits and vegetables. (But, please don’t give me apples that taste like grape soda.)

I have just failed to convince myself that life would not be awful without CHEESE.

I have made a lot of excuses lately when it comes to “having time to exercise”. I used to enjoy running. This is now limited due to my old knees. I haven’t found something I enjoy quite as much, so I haven’t been getting as much exercise as I used to. I have made a promise to change this, along with the other habits that I know are going to kill me – EVENTUALLY.

I am waiting for Monday to arrive. Monday is the day Dr. A. will call and give me the “bad news”. Monday is the day that the hammer comes down and crushes my “I am actually pretty healthy” ego.

Just a Bit Outside

After tracking the foods I ate throughout the day Saturday, I discovered that while it is fairly easy to make wise choices where fats and cholesterol are concerned; there is a LOT of hidden sodium in foods. I realize that this is not news, since pretty much everybody knows that processed foods have an abundance of sodium.

When I make the above statement, I mean to say that, despite the fact that I thought something was a wise choice – once I did the calculations, I realized I had exceeded the amount of sodium recommended for me. [Yikes... I'll work on that, too.]

More Information Sources
Understanding Cholesterol

Welchol – About Cholesterol

Place Your Bets…

How it works: – just like the Price is Right. Closest to the actual number without going over is a winner.
Well, it is Spring– and that means it is the time of year in which I get my annual checkup. The appointment was Wednesday afternoon and it was uneventful in general as far as doctors’ appointments go.

I mentioned the headaches (which was in remission at the time of the visit). We discussed possible options and I stated my disliking for pills and medications. He got me to admit that it would be good to have something in the event that simply going home and curling up in a fetal position and praying is not feasible. He vowed to research medications to find one suitable for me. (i.e., one that I can safely take with my blood pressure medication without dropping dead as a result of some drug interaction). He put in an order for … (play scary music here) a Cholesterol test.

“Oh it will be high. I can Guarantee it.” I told him.

I’m not gonna try to lie to him and tell him I’ve been eating nothing outside of high fiber-low fat-high protein rich in fruits and vegetables and such. The truth is, I haven’t put much effort into (trying to live past fifty) my diet or lifestyle lately.

Work pressures, relationship pressures, family life pressures… along with dealing with two geriatric (aging) pets with health problems (read that as expensive); I have been eating entirely too much of the foods that make me happy.

Today, I arrived home after work to find a message on my answering machine.

“Pero, this is Dr. A. I’m calling about your test results, so if you get this message early enough today please return my call at ###-####. Otherwise call this number: ###-#### and leave a message if you have a better number I can call to reach you on Monday.”

Oh. hm. That is obviously a sign that my cholesterol is indeed high. I just don’t know HOW HIGH it will be. So… if any of you want to throw out some numbers – now is the time. I’ll announce the final score Monday night.

Frappa-Lappa-Mocha-Loca-Latta-chino

After placing the order with the cheery voice at the drive-thru speaker, we “drove around” to the pick-up window. The pretty girl at the window informs me that she forgot to ask the type of coffee maker I use (in order to grind the pound of beans I had requested in addition to the drinks I had ordered).

While we were waiting for the coffee, we had the following conversation.

She said .: You must really like coffee, huh?

I said :. Sure. I Iove coffee.
(Seriously, I just purchased a pound of ground beans and a triple shot espresso soy latte at ten o’clock at night, and she asks me if I really like coffee.)

She said .: I really hate it! They make us try all of the drinks here so we know what the differences are.

I said :. Really… well what about vanilla latte or a frappucino? those aren’t very coffee-y.
(I offered this suggestion with tremendous sincerity).

She said .: Blah. I hate it. It’s just gross. They make us try EVERYTHING! I mean, we have to taste every drink so that we know what’s in it.

I thought :. …?

Thank You, Easter Bunny!