Apologies to Wendy

Pero
pero(at)perotheus(dot)com
URL http://www.perotheus.com

April 24, 2005

Wendy Thomas
Wendy’s Restaurants
Anytown, USA

Dear Wendy:

Please accept my sincere apology for posting the news story (March 1, 2005), which was aired on television and published extensively in all forms of media. I was sucked in, along with the rest of the world. Your company offers a bountiful selection of fine, quality food choices at reasonable prices; and should not have been mocked in such a horrible way.

My experiences with Wendy’s have proved satisfying for many years, and the employees with your company are almost always helpful and courteous. This experience in combination with the bad publicity no doubt hurt sales for your company. I regret that I contributed to the mockery; but I believed the story to be true due to the fact that my sources (although I cannot reveal their identities) were indeed credible.

I would like to add that in the past weeks since the story broke, I have visited and consumed foods from your restaurants (although I did not order chili.)
Thank you for your time and I do hope that sales recover from this event. I take no responsibility for the actions of Ms. Ayala’s claim or it’s impact on your business, her opinions and statements are in no way affiliated with myself or my website, and her opinions do not reflect my own.

Sincerely,

Pero

Written Excuse

To Whom it May Concern:
Please excuse my absence from the internet this past week. Between work and other obligations beyond my control I have just been too tired to show up.

- Thank you for your consideration,
pero

Yesterday morning I woke with a hint of headache, which I assumed must be sinus related, since I had not had a “cluster” headache attack in some time. I continued with most of my regular activity throughout the day, until around dinner time when it felt like my skull was caving in.

I remained on the couch trying to will the headache away (that would be called meditation), which unfortunately did not work. I finally gave up and went to bed at ten-thirty p.m.. I could not get comfortable, I was near tears several times. I started to wonder if I was a brain aneurysm, which are often described by sufferers as “the worst headache EVER”. I don’t remember falling asleep. I don’t know if the pain subsided enough for me to drift off or if my body finally shut itself off in self-defense.

I do feel better this morning, thankfully. I can’t believe that at one point I was getting those headaches one to two times in a week a few years ago and LIVING with it like it was normal.

The Dark

When I was a kid, I would lay awake in bed for hours, unable to sleep. Desperately wishing that I could get up and watch television or turn on a light and read; anything to get my mind off of not being able to sleep.

It was rare that I was permitted to drink anything caffeinated, which eliminated that from being a probable cause. I would just stay in my bed, staring out at the dark room, making up stories in my mind.

I never had a night light, nor did I want one. My theory was that if “IT” was going to get me, I probably would not want to see it coming. The things I feared were far too scary to want to find myself face-to-face with.

Sometimes I would imagine that the dark was alive; an actual thing that you could smell, hear and touch. I had decided that it would smell like dirt. Just like when you are digging a hole and that damp raw earth smell was present. That is what the dark would smell like. The Dark would be very cold to the touch, slimy but not wet, not unlike the feel of a snake’s skin.

These mental images were spawned from an old radio horror show my parents had on LP (that is a vinyl record, young people). On the record, one of the stories was called “THE DARK”.

In that story the dark was alive, and it had the ability to turn a person inside out. The sound effects used were actually made by turning a rubber glove inside out; but the dialogue, and the silent hiss of “The Dark” as it moved across the floor, and the inside-out sound was convincing when your mind was seven years old.

In the story, the people lived for a short while when The Dark had turned them inside out. They were all insane, sitting in the corner of a dark room, laughing hysterically.

I would imagine that as I lay there in my dark room, that I could hear The Dark as it made its hissing silent sound, creeping along the floor of my room. Knowing that if I were to hang an arm or a leg off the side of the bed, The Dark would grab me, crawl up my arm (or leg) and make its way to my head.

Then, just like in the story, it would creep over my body, covering it, finding my lips, and peeling my upper lip back, ripping it, rolling it over the top of my head, stopping only when my entire body was inside out. Leaving me laying there with my raw flesh and organs hanging on the outside while my pink skin was on the inside. Once it was done, I imagined that I would be insane. Sitting in the corner and laughing hysterically.

Abducted!

I was sleeping on the couch, and was disturbed by a ringing sound.
“Hello? Who’s there?” I asked.

“You are coming with us. We will not take no for an answer.” a voice replied.

Not fully awake, I agreed to accompany this group of individuals, (from this point forward referred to as “the Uni-mind”.

The Uni-mind took me to a dark place called a sports bar, which had giant screens with people running – these had no sound but the room was filled with music. They said they were trying to make me feel comfortable with these stimulating surroundings.

They offered me a beverage that I was told was called Heffevisen (hadn’t tried it before – its good stuff) and I nursed that while I studied my surroundings. At one point one of them placed a shot of tequila in front of me. Someone (who I assumed was the leader) decided we should all go somewhere else. The Uni-mind all were in agreement– and it was so. We traveled for what seemed like an enternity, although I do not know exactly how long it took to reach our destination.

Once we arrived, the Uni-mind disbanded and scattered to various locations inside.

Despite being very tired, I was forced to stay awake and was placed at a small table. There were others seated around the table holding square paper type objects with writing on them, and small round discs with symbols on them varying in color. I derived that these must be of monetary value. I exchanged my US dollars for some of these discs. I placed them on the table on a square that was a different color than the rest of the table. The guy then gave every player one square paper. We each placed plastic discs (however many we wanted) on the table, and were given another piece of paper. We could ask for more or sit with what we already had. Then we watched the leader as he gave himself some of the papers. Discs were then exchanged and then it started all over again.

I became very tired and asked to go back to the transport to sleep for a while, because I had been up for a very long time. I was escorted to the transport where I slept for nearly two hours. I then re-joined the others who were still exchanging discs at various tables and various methods of passing out the papers.

Nearly five hours later, the uni-mind began to regroup. Once they located the last one, we were herded back to the transport and we traveled once again. We ended up at a place they called Denny’s. I looked at a giant scroll they said was a “menu”. I ordered something called a two egg breakfast and coffee. None of it was very good but I don’t think it was the food itself as much as the quality of the food.

I was dropped off in front of my house around six in the morning. I felt that I should document all of this because it might just be important to the government.

Focus

He stood absolutely still for what seemed to be an eternity, his intelligent eyes focused on the target. His breath remained steady, his heartbeat an equable pace. He remained focused on the target, dispite the noise in the room. Nothing could distract him from it.

He waited — waited. His superior had not given the command that would finally release him from his stance. He waited for the target to move, ready to track it with his keen eye. He was so aware of it that he could even smell it. He could almost taste it. He was becoming anxious. A single stream of saliva slowly made its way out of the corner of his mouth, making him aware that he had been holding his breath.

He drew in a slow, deep breath, the air filling his lungs and clearing his head.

Must. Stay. Focused.

He blinked. The target remained still.

“You don’t even know that I’m watching you, do you?” he thought with amusement.

He shifted his weight, not taking his eyes off the target. Not even for even for a fraction of a second.

Then the command came. He was not really sure that was really it, since it was spoken so softly that only those in very close proximity could have heard it. The Superior One spoke the command again. This time, the words were soft and spoken quickly, but they were unmistakable.

“OK! GET IT!”

The dog leapt forward, and in the time it takes to blink, it was over. The piece of popcorn never saw it coming.