I LOVE Movies.

I can spend hours watching movies – whether they are independent and student movies available on the internet for downloading and viewing; or theatrical releases. Here are some things for you to check out if you share my addiction.

Batman Faces Evils

My favorite hero, Batman faces his old nemesis and the greatest challenge of his life. (Batman Dead End) If you have watched any movies at all in the last 15 years, you should like this.

Leftover Turkey is Available at the Main Entrance

I decided to keep the basic design of the header graphic (thanks to those of you that said good things about it).

If you didn’t see the Thanksgiving version, and you care at all, it’s still available for viewing / download.

It took me nearly a year, but I finally found and installed the Handel Gothic font – referenced in a post back in February.

Have a Happy Thanksgiving!

Turkey Gobbles

Turkey Gobbles, He feels so sad,

He stands around and moans.

“Tomorrow there’ll be nothing left,

Except my poor old bones!”

——–
Please eat responsibly. Turkey contains L-tryptophan

What was he thinking?

I came home from work hungry. I hadn’t eaten since around six yesterday evening. I fell asleep before I could get a chance to eat. (I know, can you believe it!?)

Anyway, my dog is usually a good dog. On an average day, you can drop food, for example, a piece of donut, on the floor and he won’t lunge at it or try to get it until you give the command, “OK GET IT”. He stares at the piece of food (donut) intently, waiting for anyone to say “OK GET IT.” Normally, you can put your plate on the coffee table and turn your back and he does not even try to sample it.

I guess that today is not an average day, because I placed my bagel on the coffee table, turned around for two seconds to grab the phone, and I see the dog. My bagel is IN his mouth. He looks at me and as I open my mouth to yell, “PABLO what the F–K are YOU DOING!!! BAD DOG!”, he had dropped the bagel and was running around the house trying to avoid me from grabbing him and breaking his legs. He wasn’t sure which way to turn and eventually got smart and went to his kennel in the spare room.

Now I’m stuck eating a piece of crusty toast with butter. (sigh) How boring.

Now, That Was Pretty Funny!

I was watching Becker tonight, and he said something that (at least to me was) so funny that I not only shared it with three people in IM, but I’m also posting it here. I guess if you don’t watch Becker or if you don’t even know what it’s about – He plays a doctor that is extremely pessimistic. I mean — he is the king of all pessimists. I think I quoted it correctly. If I changed it in any way it was unintentional.

The Scene: He was talking to a patient about the marathon she is going to run. She asks him, “What, you dont like marathons?”

The Punchline: He replies, “No, they just get my hopes up. in the beginning it looks like twenty thousand idiots are leaving the city, then they just all make this big loop and come right back.”

From One Pessimist to Another…

The local weatherman is either REALLY bored with his job, or he is ready to move to a tropical climate.

PORTLAND — Weather in the Portland metro area will be as it usually is: pretty boring — more of the same until it changes, with little significant interruptions.

Think more gray, more rain and more tepid temps.

Today will be quite average with the highs to be in the low 50s. Overnight lows will be on the mild sight, near 50. There will be snow in the cascades, some in Oregon, lots of it in Washington.

That being said, there is a glimmer of excitement Friday. The snow level will lower to about 2,000 feet and you might see brief amounts of snow flakes at high elevations around the city — and that doesn’t sound too boring.

Be sure to check KOIN.com Weather

Ok, so the weather doesn’t change much this time of year. Still, some of us love it. It is what we grew up with. It is familiar. (sigh). How long is Winter again?

I want this. I think I’ll order it.

Weekends were made for… Cleaning the muck out of rain gutters?

The original plan was for me to go over to my mom’s house for dinner — and to see the new windows that were being installed in her house. They are nice – and double-pane so her heating bill will be reduced this winter.

It never fails that with each invitation to dinner I end up cleaning or repairing something. It’s like the house knows I am coming. Something always happens. By now, one might think that I would learn from past experience and bring a change of clothes in preparation for these events.

While I was there, I climbed onto the roof to fix a rain gutter, which had pulled away from the house on one side. Once I was up there, I noticed that the gutters were severely clogged; so I cleaned them. I scooped out a bucket (or two) full of cold mud-slime mixed with tiny dead wet evergreen needles, grit and leaves. After scraping muck out of them I used a high pressure nozzle on the hose and rinsed the rest of the mud and crap down and made sure that the water could flow through the gutters properly.

By the time I had finished, my shoes and socks were soaked and the cuffs of my jeans were wet. Since I neglected to bring a change of clothes, I had to borrow some from mom while my clothes washed. Luckily for me, she had some sweats that were rather large and neutral in color, and I was back in my own clothes in time for dinner.

In My Humble Opinion…

Average Joe… Joe Schmoe… Joe Millionaire.

What is up with all of this deceit, anyway? I hate to admit that I actually WATCHED the first episode of “Average Joe”, a show similar to all of the “pick-a-groom from these rich, media-stereotypical bachelors”. The difference: little does our looks-like-a-model-bride-to-be know, the men the producers have chosen to participate vary in degrees of what they (the producers) consider to be “AVERAGE”. Why did I watch? Simply put – Effective Marketing. The promotional ads showing her face when she saw the less-than-Adonis men that she would be living with – amused and intrigued me.

For the most part, I think that these shows themed on “tricking” people are really just mean. What’s next? A Survivor season where there really is no million-dollar prize? (Ha ha! Fooled all of you… Instead, we are going to offer to pay for a portion of your medical bills after your return.) From what little I have seen, these people are in pretty bad shape when they finish the show.

Reality TV has gotten way, way out of hand. It consumes such a large block of the prime time line-up that I have resorted to watching movies on USA and TNT… movies that are in my DVD collection. Why would I watch a movie on commercial cable TV if it is in my collection

a) I like the movie.
b)Since it is has commercials, I can flip around to see if there is in fact something else to watch.

Watching Primetime television *aka Reality TV saturated television* is like eating plain oatmeal, three times a day, every day. For the rest of your life. It really needs something else to make it good. Butter, sugar – maybe milk if you like it that way. But it needs flavor. Almost anything new would work.

BONUS *Rhetorical* Question: Would You EAT a Pig Uterus for A 1 in 3 CHANCE at winning 50,000 dollars?

Seen in the News…

How in the… ? Mr. Billie Jo Hawks spent over eight months in two different Women’s Prisons – before coming forward. They decided (after a physical exam) to move him.

I am not sure how this happens… I was under the impression that they search people they arrest as part of the booking process.

Giddy up… and go. – Woman is ticketed for driving 480MPH in a 30MPH zone. She plans to fight this one.

Now You Know.

My neighbor, Kat, knocked on my door this morning with her five month old cat (Larry) in her arms. She was very upset.

“Can you help me?” she asked, “Larry sat in candle wax and I don’t know how to get it out of his fur.” She showed me the cat’s back leg. She explained that she had blown out a candle ten minutes before going to bed the night before, and today she noticed that Larry had wax on his “butt”. “My mom said to put ice on it and it would get it out.”

“I think that is for gum. The ice makes it harder so it can come out easier. The wax is already cooled and hard, so I don’t know that ice would work. We could try it if you want, and I’m not saying that your mom is wrong, because a lot of times moms are right even if they sound crazy.” I told her. I let her in and we began to examine Larry’s problem. The wax was hardened – and was in a clump, similar to the way an animal’s fur will mat if it doesn’t get groomed. It was pulling his fur so tight that any time you touched it he would whine. His skin was very pink and irritated.

I told Kat that we may end up having to shave Larry to get the wax out.

“I really don’t want to have to shave my cat. It would look funny with a bald spot,” Kat replied. (At this point I thought the conversation, should it have been overheard by someone passing by had potential to be pretty funny.) I couldn’t help but wonder what she thinks the cat looks like with a wad of hardened wax as compared to a bald spot. Surely the cat would have less pain bald than with the wax pulling his fur.

I turned the water on in the sink to let it get “hot”, or at least as warm as possible and began to rub at the wax with a towel. This did help, but only a little. Larry was a fairly good sport about the whole ordeal, considering we were pulling his fur and rubbing him with water. After a while I decided that this was not working well enough. I asked Kat if she has any baby oil, and she went home to get it. I applied a very small amount of the baby oil to a spot and the wax easily worked its way out of Larry’s fur. Soon he was free. With the baby oil and a comb all of the wax came out.

Kat asked me if it would hurt Larry to lick the baby oil. Since animal groomers use it for cleaning cat’s ears, and the ingredients are mineral oil and fragrance. I assured her that he should not get sick from it. Larry was content to have a clean and only slightly oily spot where the wax used to be.