- Tuesday, November 30, 2004
Drop the Thesaurus, You Pompous Ass
I am reclined on my mattress, incapable of slumber. Although it is not from lack of trying, it is possible that in the past two days I simply exceeded my hibernation quota. Near desperation, I ingested a small dose of a popular PM in hopes of achieving some form of rest before sunrise. If I were to doze off this very instant, (this would never get posted)...What I meant to say was If I were to doze off this very instant I would achieve three, perhaps four solid hours of sleep before having to wake up long enough to refrain from smashing the alarm clock to an unrecognizable heap of plastic and screws and wires. That would only be due to the fact that I just realized that I had failed to disable the alarm I had set for the previous day. Since there is no reason for me to rise at such an early hour tomorrow, I have disengaged said alarm, thus temporarily altering it's immediate purpose.
The room I currently inhabit is quiescent to a point that I can only hear the keypad beneath my finger tips and my own breathing. I have a compelling need to rise and devoid my bladder; but having considered the chill in the air of this room, I am resolved to tolerate the minor discomfort of the pressure from within. I am gradually becoming aware that eventually I will have to surface to avoid finding myself both benumbed and saturated.
Just before I commenced transcribing these paragraphs, I found myself on the edge of dormancy, but I was startled into consciousness when the resident canine ululated due to a vagrant mouser roving across the turf the dog had claimed as his own.
My intent in this small composition was to exhaust my intellect to the point that I could attempt sleep once more. If you are still reading this commentary, without signs of astronomical weariness, you are far stronger than I.
pero @ 2:12 AM | œ | 7 comments
Recap
I was planning to post something on Friday or perhaps Saturday. Things kept happening that prevented me from doing so. It's possible that all of the things that came up were for a reason, since I had nothing to say in the postings anyway. Here's the rundown:Friday and Saturday I worked and slept. Not much else happened really. Sunday - 5am- left work early due to
6am- passed out in bed before I had time to take off my boots.
7am- woke up with the right side of my head feeling as if it was caving in.
8am- tried desperately to close my eyes tightly and use my hands to compress my skull in an attempt to equalize the pressure I felt in my head.
8:15am-1:pm relocated to the couch tried to sleep. Never turned the TV on - even once.
1:30pm - Thought about taking medication, which means I have to eat. The thought of food nearly ruined my life. Went back to sleep. Slept until...
6pm- Got up, showered, went back to the couch, fell back alseep.
10pm- moved back to the bedroom, fell asleep.
Monday, 12:10am- Woke up. Head still pounding. Could not get comfortable, no matter what. Could not fall back asleep.
2:15am- Risking ulcers, took something for pain, fell asleep around...
4:00am - slept until
7:15- Woke up, feeling... leftover dull throbbing between my eyes and the back of my head somewhere. But at least I can function today.
pero @ 10:43 AM | œ | 5 comments
I'm hungry and ready to EAT!
(this is the masthead as it appeared the week of Thanksgiving 2004. It has sense been replaced by the regular masthead, but I thought I'd preserve it here. It appears smaller than it's original size.)pero @ 3:56 PM | œ | 17 comments
invasion
\In*va"sion\, n. [L. invasio: cf. F. invasion. See Invade.] 1. The act of invading; the act of encroaching upon the rights or possessions of another; encroachment; trespass.
2. A warlike or hostile entrance into the possessions or domains of another; the incursion of an army for conquest or plunder.
Earlier this week, the pantry in a modest home in the Pacific Northwest was invaded. A colony of ants sent a small troop on a suspected reconnaissance mission, although their exact intentions are unclear at this time.
Officials have determined that the point of entry was a vulernabilty in an outside wall where the home's foundation meets the frame. Authorities were unable to determine the exact time the attack took place, but it was said to be during the night while the home was apparently rendered defenseless when it's owner left to report for duty at another location. Upon returning home, the owner evacuated the pantry immediately after the discovery of the invasion and a chemical warfare attack resulted. Many of their troops died instantly while others stood their ground. Over the next few days some remaining troops were discovered and quickly removed from the location. Further security measures are on stand-by in the even that they will be needed.
The two guards on duty at the time of the attack were not available for comment.
pero @ 10:04 AM | œ | 5 comments
The Germs are Everywhere... Even in Your TV
The cold and flu remedy medicines have taken over my television. This is probably why so many people get sick. That's right. The TV is projecting subliminal germs through the air-waves and making you get sick.
Once you are sucessfully laying in bed; with your sniffling, sneezing, coughing, stuffy-head, fever and you can't rest - they want you to choose their products from your local perfect drug store.
Thanks to the miracle of media news broadcasting, many people are in a panic about not having received a flu shot. Some of the people who are freaking out didn't get a flu shot in the past, so why they are freaking out over it this year is beyond me.
Thanks, network news, for the subliminal messages you are sending. I'm sure all of the people who burried in used kleenex and are achey and stuffed up appreciate the house call.
pero @ 5:38 PM | œ | 4 comments
There is NOTHING ON
At the end of many TV shows, the production companies add a signature clip after the credits. Many of you will remember the one at the end of Cheers had a guy at a typewriter as he pounds the keyboard, then he rips the page out of the typewriter and an animated page flutters down, landing on top of the logo.
One afternoon while watching syndicated programming, I noticed that at the end of Everybody Loves Raymond, one of the clips is from "Where's Lunch?" productions. It shows a place setting at a table, like you would find at a diner or cafe. Each episode, they "serve" different food. For no reason other than to satisfy my own curiosity, I began to keep track of the items served.
Some of the items they have shown include:
- Chicken strips with french fries.Me? Bored? EXTREMELY.
- Penne pasta with chicken and sauce.
- Chili cheese fries.
- Steak strip on pasta with pepper rings.
- Stuffed red pepper, kale or lettuce for garnish
- Sushi roll? and 3 yellow pepper rings
- Taco salad with avacado slices & spanish rice
- Pork chops, black eyed peas with diced peppers, rice with gravy
- Shrimp linguine
- Fried shrimp, sliced tomato, cole slaw
- Corn chowder ?
- Beef enchiladas, guacamole, beans and rice, green onion garnish
- Sliced roast beef, rare; with sauteed green beans and roasted potatoes
pero @ 1:02 AM | œ | 9 comments
Lighten Up, it's Just a Website
pero @ 11:44 PM | œ | 8 comments
Can We PLEASE Talk About ANYTHING ELSE?
I am almost AFRAID to attempt to read weblogs today.
pero @ 6:00 AM | œ | 14 comments
2003 / 2004 comparison
Last year, I purchased four huge bags of Halloween candy two weeks early. The neighborhood had not predetermined any curfew restrictions or guidelines on what time the festivities were to begin, or when they would end. I gave each child two to three pieces, depending on the size of the candy pieces and the age of the child. For example, very small children got M&Ms or Reeses pieces type candy instead of big jaw-breaker style gum. I stayed inside with the porch lights on and waited for trick or treat-ers. Last year I saw a lot of the Incredible Hulk, many, many Disney Princesses, a Crash Test Dummy, and a Blue Man (from Blue Man Group). Last year, by the time it all ended, I was left with about a pound of candy left (a little over half of a huge bag).
This year, I purchased three huge bags of Halloween candy. I held out on the purchase until about a week before Halloween. The neighborhood had 'strongly suggested' that trick or treat time was between six pm and nine pm. I gave each child two to three pieces; again age appropriate types of candy. This year, I saw a lot of Spiderman two Batmen a variety of Disney and other Princesses, some extremely cute insects (one very small butterfly who was proudly announcing that she was TWO as she turned around to show off her wings). This year, was ambushed by a group of about twenty at once; at which time I struggled to keep up with the barrage of bags and small hands and trick or treat shouting. They soon grew impatient and began helping themselves (each grabbing a piece of candy before I could hand them out). To my surprise, the parents in charge of this group said NOTHING about the greedy behavior of the children.) I ran out of candy by eight o'clock.
pero @ 10:16 AM | œ | 4 comments
